I wish this post could be a serious one. It won’t be.
1. You will literally have no idea what is going on the majority of the time.
Strange, I know. However, I am being serious. I am nearing the end of second year and I honestly do not have any idea what has happened over the past 2 years. You would think by now I would have some sort of understanding about my degree, where I am going in life. The purpose of spending all this money and getting into all this debt but the reality is, I have less of an idea of what I want to do with my life than I did when I was back in college.
I go to lectures to be told that 1 in 10 psychology graduates get a job in the field. The rest work in bars after graduation. BARS. I am being deadly serious, this was an actual lecture I had to attend.
2. Your assignments will make no sense.
Again, sounds odd but something I have learnt is, no matter how many lectures you go to, When you get given an assignment title, it will make no sense. You will spend the first 2 weeks after being given it trying to work out what you’re meant to be writing about. When it clicks, you will begin writing, get a few hundred words in and realise you still don’t know what the question is asking you but in true student style, you continue to bullshit until you hit the word count.
No one knows how to reference.
This is particularly important in first year. My university spent a solid 2/3 months explaining how to reference correctly. This is the most important thing you will learn, they said. BULLSHIT. Refme.com will be your lifeline. It will be everybody’s lifeline. I don’t actually know of a single student who creates a reference list without the help of the internet. It’s just not the done thing. Honestly, If you can’t get your head around it, do not panic. It isn’t important. There is a reason the internet was created.
3. “The lecture slides will be uploaded online” Is the worst thing a lecturer can ever say.
Sounds useful, doesn’t it?
“Amazing, If I’m sick one day I won’t fall behind!”
What they don’t tell you is, the lecture slides often contain nothing more than a picture, or a cartoon. WHAT USE IS THAT TO ANYONE??? I once had a lecture slide that just said “The inbetweeners”
Not only that, though, it’s also a slippery slope. Hungover? Oh, it’s fine the lecture will be online! Tired? Don’t worry, you can catch up online. Do not fall into the trap. You cannot catch up using the lecture slides online.
4. College students do not understand the term binge watching a show.
Something I learnt at university is, the term binge watching a tv show has a whole new meaning at university. I mean right now, it’s 03:30 and I’ve just switched my TV off after a night of watching The Big Bang theory.
Honestly, I think my biggest achievement of university so far is watching every single episode of all series of Fresh Meat, Brooklyn Nine-nine, The OA, The Big Bang theory.. the list goes on…
I mean this is basically the unwritten rule of university. Everyone finds their own seat. I mean obviously, lecture halls are fairly large, there’s a lot of seats but no matter how many empty seats there are, it is never okay for you to sit in another person’s seat. Just don’t do it okay? It ruins the whole thing. If you sit in someone’s seat, they’re forced to sit in someone else’s seat and this just continues. Everyone is sat in the wrong seats and it just destroys everything. Don’t be that idiot that steals a seat.
You have more chance of turning up to every single class for the whole degree than you do of sitting outside with your multicultural group of friends. It just does not happen.
I mean sure, you are likely to make friends with people from different faiths and different backgrounds, but you are very unlikely to actually sit outside on some grass and study with them. It just isn’t something that happens.
7. Having to attend a 9 AM lecture hungover is one of the worst things ever.
You’ll do it once and swear you will never do it again… until the next day….
8. The fire alarm in halls is basically satan.
You’ll crawl into bed at 5 AM, check the clock and realise you have 3 hours to sleep before your lecture.. Then boom, an ear piercing screech will ruin your whole plan. It is the most inconsiderate thing ever.
9. Being a serial outfit repeater is acceptable when you reach university.
Honestly, don’t sweat it. You will turn up on the first day in halls with every item of clothing you own, you will start with the intention of wearing a new outfit every day. Then one day you’ll realise you need to do that washing. You’ll grab all your clothes off the floor and walk to the laundry room to find the only way you’re going to be able to afford to wash all this is if you remortgage your parent’s house.
Deodorant the armpits and you’re ready to go.
10. On at least one occasion, usually more, you will regret every single life decision you made and question why you didn’t just get a job.
Assignments, no money, hungry. What made this seem like a good idea?